When I started dating my Partner in Crime, I knew I had something worth holding onto. I know it sounds cliche, and I know that all of us say that with the person we end up married to (because we always think the person we’re dating is special at the beginning and if the relationship ends in marriage, we can say we “knew they were special” from the get-go), but there was something about him that was strikingly different than any guy I had dated before.
He was happy.
Genuinely happy, on his own. He didn’t need me in his life. He didn’t need a girlfriend to feel complete. He didn’t need anything other than everything he already was.
That’s a rare thing.
And when Mom was diagnosed with cancer and I went off the deep end for a few months, he didn’t sink with me. His happiness, his amazing attitude and perseverance, kept him positive and strong when I couldn’t be. I could crumble and know that he was still there with me, because he himself was strong on his own. My weaknesses didn’t bring him down. They could have. They do with so many others.
Six months after Mom died, he asked me to marry him.
Two years after Mom died, we said our “I do’s.”
Today’s blog, obviously, isn’t about writing. Today’s blog is about life and love and about finding someone to share your life with.
Too many of us feel like we “need” a partner to complete us. Too many of us feel like we’re missing a crucial element and that we need a lover to fill the void. Too many of us rely on someone else to keep us happy.
But I don’t think that’s what marriage is about. I don’t think that’s what love is about. I think it’s about finding someone who compliments you. It’s about finding someone who is worth not being single for. It’s about finding someone who doesn’t complete you but absolutely adds to who you are, someone to accents and amplifies your positive qualities and mutes your negative ones.
Love is about finding someone who can be your equal, not your other half.
Today is the four-year anniversary of me finding that person, and the one-year anniversary of legally committing myself to this crazy ride we call life.
And I’m so excited to see where the twists and turns lead us–and whether or not we puke or scream or laugh along the way. Probably a bit of everything.